A Very Marauder Christmas
by brahdley jims
Summary: Even at Christmas, Sirius can make things go spectacularly wrong, and his latest disaster involves an exploding cat. For the First Sentence challenge by Tani Smiles. T for one cuss word.


**AN: This is for the First Sentence challenge by Tani Smiles on the HPFC forum. I'd appreciate it if you reviewed :) And I know it's March and nowhere near Christmas, but I had a good idea for this one that I couldn't let go. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I'm still saving up my pocket money to buy the rights. Check back in a few months time.**

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"Christmas won't be Christmas without any presents," grumbled Sirius, lying on the rug. The flames in the crumbling brick fireplace were dying, thirsting for a last snatch of oxygen. The Christmas tree in the corner of the room looked strangely out of place. Of course, the tree had every right to be there, given that it was the twenty-third of December. And it had been decorated well, if… uniquely. No, the strange thing about this particular Christmas tree was that, just a day before Christmas, it did not have a single present lying beneath it.

The reason for this was quite ridiculous and unbelievable – to anyone who didn't know the Marauders. Because most people knew that with the Marauders, anything was possible.

No matter how stupid.

"You can't complain, it was your fault," James scowled, from his seat on the sofa. For once, he didn't find something Sirius did amusing.

"Yes, for ruining Christmas for all four of us." Remus glared at the seventeen-year-old sprawled on the floor.

"Oh, come on, Moony, don't over-exaggerate," Sirius sighed. "It's not that bad."

"You were the one just saying about how Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without presents," James said. "Is it bad, or isn't it?"

Sirius grimaced, his handsome features momentarily regretful. "Well, yes, it is quite bad," he admitted. "But it's not all my fault."

"You were the one who let that bloody cat in here in the first place!" James said. "Wasn't he, Wormy?"

The smallest of the boys, with a face remarkably like a rat's and a constantly nervous expression, glanced at James and then at Sirius. He was quick to side with the majority. "Yes – yes, it _is _your fault, Sirius," he said, backing James and Remus up.

"Not you too, Wormy! I thought you were on my side?" Sirius stared pleadingly at the rat-faced boy, Peter. Peter looked torn between his two friends, desperately not wanting to fall out with either of them.

"Of course he's not, those were his presents that got destroyed as well, Sirius!" James snapped. Sirius sat up, shocked. James really wasn't happy, was he? What was wrong with him? Usually they'd laugh about this sort of thing, but now… Godric, now he was actimg more like Remus.

"Chill out, mate," Sirius frowned.

"I WON'T "CHILL OUT" WHEN YOU BLOODY BURNED ALL OUR PRESENTS!" James yelled, standing up.

Sirius' jaw fell open, but he scrambled to stand up as well. "Well, it wasn't as bad as what you did in Christmas in fourth year! Remember you Vanished everyone's presents, the Christmas tree and the decorations, just to show off your Transfiguration skills, and you couldn't get them back again!"

"Guys, come on – can we please not turn this into a shouting match?" Remus begged, but neither boy took any notice of him.

'This is different!' James roared. "THAT WAS LILY'S PRESENT YOU BURNED!"

Everything fell silent. Sirius gaped at James, regret and realisation dawning in his eyes. Remus stared at Sirius in disbelief. Peter's eyes flicked nervously between his two best friends standing opposite each other, one just about ready to kill the other.

"James – mate, I'm sorry," Sirius said weakly. "I didn't know – honestly, I –"

"Didn't know?" shouted James, though he was beginning to lose steam now. "You knew Lily's present was under there, you knew how much she's wanted that necklace for ages now."

"Only because you wouldn't stop going on about it," Sirius retorted, slightly miffed himself again.

"She's my girlfriend, I wanted to get her the best Christmas present in the world," James said defensively. "I've only been going out with her for a month! She'll dump me if I don't even get her a bloody Christmas present. What a lousy bloody boyfriend I am!"

"Calm down, mate," Sirius said awkwardly. "You can just… buy her another present."

"That necklace was unique, it was all she wanted!" James shouted furiously. "And I can't just go out and buy another bloody present, it's Christmas Eve! Merlin's beard, Black! Why are you so stupid?"

"James, that's going a bit far," Remus warned.

"No, it's not! It's a bloody good question!" James cried. "Did your mother drop you on your head as a baby, Black?"

"Don't start throwing insults at me, Potter!" Sirius yelled back. Remus put his head in his hands and groaned. They were just going to have to fight this out between them.

"Why not?" James asked. "You were the stupid one! You were the one stupid enough to let that bloody stray cat into my parents' house. You were the one stupid enough to try and feed it Fizzing Whizzbees for a laugh! You were the one stupid enough to change into a dog and get it all angry and pissed off! And because of your stupidity, Black, that's what made the bloody cat explode from the Fizzing Whizzbees, fly around the room like a firework and set fire to all our presents!"

And then Remus couldn't hold it in any longer.

He burst out laughing.

"I – what the – Remus?" James said in disbelief. "Why are you _laughing_?"

"You've got to – _snort – _admit _– snort – _it's quite – _snort – _funny!" Remus wheezed in between fits of laughter and pig-like snorts.

"It's not!" James protested. Then Sirius cracked up, and it didn't take long for Peter to follow. "Guys, really? This is serious!"

He stared at his three friends rolling on the floor, doubled up in laughter with red faces. He stared at the lonely-looking Christmas tree and the burn marks around the bottom of it. He thought of the cat zooming around the room, ricocheting off the walls and flashing different colours, like a firework.

And he said, "Guys, what happened to the cat?"


End file.
